My dear, if your inventions aren’t causing a slight tremor in the local area, you simply aren’t trying hard enough. And if your hat isn't capable of powering a small city, you need to revise your aesthetic priorities.
This truly exceptional device—for I hesitate to call it merely a hat—was salvaged directly from the laboratory of Professor Tiberius Finch, a man so consumed by his work that he rarely took it off. I found him in the catacombs beneath Venice, powering a rudimentary time machine with nothing but a well-wound spring and a strong cup of Turkish coffee.
This hat is crafted from heavy, gold-toned faux leather or metal (specify if possible!), giving it a formidable, industrial weight. It's a complete, self-contained system. The circumference is covered in exposed gears, tubes, and intricate pipes, signifying a constantly running experiment. The pressure gauge on the side allows the wearer to monitor—or pretend to monitor—the atmospheric pressure, or perhaps the temporal volatility, of the immediate surroundings. If you prefer a look that is just as intelligent but perhaps less... explosive, the refined formality of The Analyst’s Formal Gear remains a perfect choice
For defense and function, it is equipped with brass target goggles—designed for focused, single-point targeting—and detailed with an unapologetic cluster of spikes and mock ammunition. The pièce de résistance is the illuminated light bulb and vacuum tubes crowning the dome, which, according to the Professor, helped channel the aetheric energies required for a quick dimensional jump.
Wear this when your genius is undeniable, your experiments are highly illegal, and you need to look like the most fascinating—and possibly most dangerous—man in the entire known universe.
Product Specifications (For the discerning eccentric):
Materials: Gold/Brass-toned Faux Leather/Metal, Brass-Tone Gears, Tubing, and Spikes
Features: Integrated Pressure Gauge, Spiked Target Goggles, Bullet Casings, and Decorative Light Bulb/Vaccum Tube Accent
Style: Extreme Industrial Steampunk Gadget Hat (One Size Fits Most)
Aunt Matilda’s Guarantee: Certified to increase one's genius by approximately 47% (results may vary).
Pair With: Enhance your look with the matching Chronamancer's Gaze Goggles Collection.
The Full Trunk: Explore all of Aunt Matilda’s commanding headwear in the Gentlemen's Hat Collection.
